Chapters 12 & 13: Mothers as Nurturers and Honor Thy Father
Chapters 12 & 13: Mothers as Nurturers by Jenet J Erickson and Honor Thy Father: Key principles and practices in fathering by Sean E. Brotherson.
1978 Spencer W Kimball said: “To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times (p. 103).”
This chapter talks about a Wintu tribe and how they reference mother according to Dorothy Lee, an anthropologist. Each child will reference the mother as ‘she who I made into mother’ because with each child born a new mother is created. It is not simply a repetition of the same event. There is a newness to the mother that comes into being with each child.
In summary, research findings have supported the truth that a mother’s loving, attentive relationship with each child becomes the foundation by which all other mothering tasks become effective.
From the foundation of love, mothers significantly influence children’s development by
• creating an environment in which children can flourish
• establishing consistent routines
• strengthening emotional well-being and relationships among family members
• the cognitive stimulation and teaching they provide (which is a critical influence)
It is important for mothers to take care of themselves.
Elder M. Russell Ballard counseled mothers:
• to find some time for themselves to cultivate your gifts and interests
• to pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them
• that water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children (2008, p. 110)
Elder Ballard also taught:
• there is no one perfect way to be a good mother because each situation is unique
• each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and different children
• what matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else (May, 2008, p. 108).
The church does an excellent job in teaching for every aspect of life. This includes how build relationships. One thing I read in this chapter that I loved was how it showed some very important and helpful pieces of information, that had I known would have made a huge difference in my personal happiness and understanding of mothering:
• mothers and fathers who are honest with themselves will recognize that in every relationship they will fail their children in some important way because that is part of being mortal in a fallen world; no mother or father is good enough to care perfectly for God’s children
• the solution is to change (have our natures changed); this gives us access to inspiration from heaven and helps us become fit parents.
• the Savior’s Atonement promises that we can receive His image by humbly bringing our tattered, weak selves to Him for healing. We can feel his mercy transform us and we can become more like Him in our parenting.
Mothers need to work on their private religious practices like fasting, personal prayer, scripture study etc. This makes a significant influence on the family’s religious practices and her own quality of parenting.
By spending more time in these practices, mothers tend to feel closer their children and feel effective when it came to nurturing and setting boundaries for the children. They also were less likely to be involved in physical coercion, unreasonable punishing, psychological control or verbal hostility with their children.
To father a child is to accept a divine calling, a moral stewardship, and a lasting commitment across generations.
President Ezra Taft Benson taught that a father’s calling “is an eternal calling from which [he is] never released” (1987, p. 48).
Two fundamental realities:
To Preside:
To Partner:
This is relationship work and helping to feel connected emotionally and physically with the child. You work on relationships of partnership with each of the following:
1978 Spencer W Kimball said: “To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times (p. 103).”
This chapter talks about a Wintu tribe and how they reference mother according to Dorothy Lee, an anthropologist. Each child will reference the mother as ‘she who I made into mother’ because with each child born a new mother is created. It is not simply a repetition of the same event. There is a newness to the mother that comes into being with each child.
In summary, research findings have supported the truth that a mother’s loving, attentive relationship with each child becomes the foundation by which all other mothering tasks become effective.
From the foundation of love, mothers significantly influence children’s development by
• creating an environment in which children can flourish
• establishing consistent routines
• strengthening emotional well-being and relationships among family members
• the cognitive stimulation and teaching they provide (which is a critical influence)
It is important for mothers to take care of themselves.
Elder M. Russell Ballard counseled mothers:
• to find some time for themselves to cultivate your gifts and interests
• to pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them
• that water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children (2008, p. 110)
Elder Ballard also taught:
• there is no one perfect way to be a good mother because each situation is unique
• each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and different children
• what matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else (May, 2008, p. 108).
The church does an excellent job in teaching for every aspect of life. This includes how build relationships. One thing I read in this chapter that I loved was how it showed some very important and helpful pieces of information, that had I known would have made a huge difference in my personal happiness and understanding of mothering:
• mothers and fathers who are honest with themselves will recognize that in every relationship they will fail their children in some important way because that is part of being mortal in a fallen world; no mother or father is good enough to care perfectly for God’s children
• the solution is to change (have our natures changed); this gives us access to inspiration from heaven and helps us become fit parents.
• the Savior’s Atonement promises that we can receive His image by humbly bringing our tattered, weak selves to Him for healing. We can feel his mercy transform us and we can become more like Him in our parenting.
Mothers need to work on their private religious practices like fasting, personal prayer, scripture study etc. This makes a significant influence on the family’s religious practices and her own quality of parenting.
By spending more time in these practices, mothers tend to feel closer their children and feel effective when it came to nurturing and setting boundaries for the children. They also were less likely to be involved in physical coercion, unreasonable punishing, psychological control or verbal hostility with their children.
To father a child is to accept a divine calling, a moral stewardship, and a lasting commitment across generations.
President Ezra Taft Benson taught that a father’s calling “is an eternal calling from which [he is] never released” (1987, p. 48).
Two fundamental realities:
- Parenting is a work of vital, even eternal, importance to children, families, and communities
- Fathers make a fundamental difference in parenting across generations
To Preside:
The Family: A Proclamation to the
World” states, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in
love and righteousness.” A brief examination of this statement makes clear
three fundamental realities regarding fatherhood:
1. Fathers are directed to take upon themselves the
responsibility of spiritual leadership in family life as part of a loving
Eternal Father’s plan for family functioning.
2. The responsibility to preside is the first and
foremost duty for men in family life.
3. Spiritual guidance among family members is
supposed to be “in love and righteousness”; suggests a formula that gentle
application of love and a consistent example of personal spiritual
attentiveness equals appropriate spiritual persuasion as mentioned
in D&C 121:41–42.
This is relationship work and helping to feel connected emotionally and physically with the child. You work on relationships of partnership with each of the following:
- with the mother (the best thing a father can do is to love the mother)
- with the child (showing care and concern and involvement)
- with others involved in the child's life (drawing support from extended family members)
To Be Present:
Being available and aware of the child's needs develops an environment of security and love.
The way this is played out changes with the age and needs of the child. A toddler may need time to play with the father or have a story read by the father. Whereas a teenager may need his father to listen to his explanations of things he is interested in.
To Provide:
This is usually referring to providing for temporal needs of the child. It also is regarded as stewardship work. It is not only providing for physical needs, but also doing so in wisdom. You have to take care on what you provide the child including opportunities for development.
To Protect:
Fathers welcome their children to mortal life and help prepare them for eternal life.
Some key aspects:
- protecting the children from harm and teaching them skills for outside family life.
- mentoring-sharing wisdom and support
- modeling appropriate and righteous behavior by the father's own choices and behaviors
- monitoring their environment and behavior-including television and media choices
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